Underwear of my dreams.
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Now, I’ve been straight my entire life, but a recent string of events has made me question everything I’ve ever known about myself. It started during my fraternity initiation ceremony, when I got slightly aroused from wearing underwear called “Andrew Christian” and doing shots out of another guy’s butt crack. To my relief, the campus chaplain told me that it’s perfectly natural to have feelings like that, and it’s only gay or sinful if you act upon them in a gay way. I prayed for some answers, and when nothing came to me, I decided to go visit the rival frat to get wasted and piss on all their shit.
I wasn’t prepared for the scene I walked into, though.
Four of these dudes had their shorts pulled down. They were stroking themselves while taking hits of marijuana plant from a long glass tube called a bong. One of them started wrapping his lips around his frat bro’s shaft, and before I could even say “no homo”, one of them pulled me aside and assured me it doesn’t count as gay if you’re under the influence of marijuana plant.
Peer pressure took over, and I decided to partake in this so-called 420 trend everyone has been talking about. It was super chill. I felt like I was floating on top of a marshmallow, then I ate some marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms, and then I closed my eyes and realized that the same guy from before was sucking my dick.
I didn’t even realize I took my pants off! As I clumsily fumbled to find my underwear in the pile of discarded beer cans, I wondered to myself what this all meant. Is it gay for me to have acted upon my feelings, even if I was under the influence of a powerful marijuana plant? Should I have trusted these guys, or were they underground homosexuals promoting the gay agenda?
My zipper was zipped. My button was buttoned. Just as I was going to tighten my belt, I noticed the dick sucker from before bending over in front of the TV to get a closer look at the game with his ass in the air. His frat bro came up behind him and mounted him like an animal, taking a hit of marijuana plant from the bong while pushing deep inside of him.
I could feel my hand reaching to undo my button again. I could feel my hand reaching to unzip my zipper. My body was saying “let’s go”, but my heart was saying “no”… And before I knew it, I was balls deep inside of that dick sucker, unleashing a thick load of semen into his hole.
Does this mean I’m gay now?
Photo credit: Fraternity X
Check out some pics and video of what happened below:
Watch the exclusive video footage of what happened on FRATERNITY X.
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Matt Barber is evil. Just plain evil. In his latest anti-LGBT demeaning attempt at attacking our community, he coopts an image to make a hateful argument. His latest column, titled “The Coming Christian Revolt,” is another reason the religious right is becoming more and more irrelevant in the hate world. Via Right Wing Watch:
Featuring a picture of African American demonstrators being shot with water hoses behind a superimposed rainbow image, Barber writes that the anti-gay Right is the direct descendant of Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Civil Rights Movement, and must similarly engage in “widespread civil disobedience” in the face of water hoses.
From behind a smoking sniper rifle high atop his ivory tower peers the secular “progressive.” He surveys his many victims, strewn across the American landscape below and mockingly sneers, “War on Christianity? What war on Christianity?”
He then resumes shooting, all the while insisting that those uncooperative Christians who scatter for cover behind the word of God and the U.S. Constitution somehow suffer from a “persecution complex” (the baker, the photographer, the florist, the innkeeper, the Christian school administrator, etc.).
For every law, regulation, activist court ruling or presidential edict that demands Christians violate their sincerely held religious beliefs and adopt a postmodern, moral relativist way of life, there increases, in exact proportion, the likelihood of widespread civil disobedience – disobedience of the sort we haven’t seen since the civil rights struggles of the 1950s and ’60s.
Indeed, if, in the spirit of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., we, his fellow Christian travelers, must again face the water hoses, then face them we shall.
While there are those who will give way out of fear, weakness or a desire to conform to the world, there are many others who will not. Christians must peacefully come together, lock arms and redouble our resistance to evil.
Even when that evil is adorned with the presidential seal and signature.
Time for an Adavan. My anger is about to cause me a migraine.
A jury has smacked cigarette purveyor RJ Reynolds with over $20 billion (that's with a “B”) dollars in damages in a lawsuit waged by the widow of a man who died as the result of his smoking addiction.
During the 2014 summer TCA press tour panel for "Chrisley Knows Best," star Todd Chrisley was asked about reporters asking him about his sexual orientation and the homosexuality rumors that have followed him since his show began on USA.
"I don't feel there's a need for me not to address it. You asked the question, it's rude of me not to answer it. ... I don't believe that being gay is something that you should be ashamed of, I don't believe it's something you should hide. And if I wanted to date someone, I'd call you and I'd ask you to go to dinner with me. But I'm very content with my life and where I am. Today I am not gay."
Chrisley also tells the audience that his family recently participated in the NOH8 project, which didn't sit very well with some of his fans. Chrisley tells the audience that he told one fan in particular, "I love all my brothers and sisters, you included."
Ms. Stritch’s career began in the 1940s and included her fair share of appearances in movies, including Woody Allen’s “September” (1987) and “Small Time Crooks” (2000), and on television; well into her 80s, she played a recurring role on the NBC comedy “30 Rock” as the domineering mother of the television executive played by Alec Baldwin. But the stage was her true professional home, where, whether in musicals, nonmusical dramas or solo cabaret shows, she drew audiences to her with her whiskey voice, her seen-it-all manner and the blunt charisma of a star.
Plainspoken, egalitarian, impatient with fools and foolishness, and admittedly fond of cigarettes, alcohol and late nights — she finally gave up smoking and drinking in her 60s, though she took it up again — Ms. Stritch might be the only actor to work as a bartender after starring on Broadway, and she was completely unabashed about her good-time-girl attitude.
In an email to NOM lemmings today, President Brian Brown asks that members boycott Chase for including a question about LGBT support in an employee survey:
Dear Marriage Supporter,
This is the smoking gun. NOM has obtained new evidence that shows Chase bank not only violated its employees' privacy with invasive and inappropriate questions on an employee survey aimed at pushing an LGBT agenda, but that the company has lied to consumers and its own employees about the now infamous questions.
Today, NOM is launching an international petition and boycott at www.VoidChase.com to send the message that this kind of invasiveness and dishonesty is unacceptable and will not go unchallenged. I urge you to read on to get the facts for yourself, and then head over to www.VoidChase.com to join this important effort.
The news about this survey has already been reported far and wide. But after NOM called on our members to contact Chase and demand answers about the invasive question to employees about whether they were “allies of the LGBT community”—and answers about how this information was to be used—the bank's leadership went on defense.
Several of you forwarded me responses received from Patricia A. Wexler, a Chase spokesperson, who said that, “The news report is not correct. These surveys are anonymous and voluntary.” Another Chase spokesperson, Jaclyn D'Aversa, reiterated to the Heritage Foundation's Daily Signal that the survey was “completely voluntary and anonymous.”
That the survey was administered, and contained the offensive question, is simply beyond doubt. This screenshot, published Friday by Breitbart News, has finally laid all such questions to rest—even though, as the Breitbart piece notes, several liberal media elites had been claiming that the survey didn't even exist.
I guess as NOM loses its mission to stomp out marriage equality, it now needs to get nitpicky about corporate surveys. They are treating this employee survey as a “scandal.” And using Breitbart as a primary source is just plain pathetic.
I have worked in corporate America for decades and I can tell you that voluntary employee surveys are that – voluntary. The question in question is also presented as “considered.”
This organization, having lost just about every “fight” in which they have involved themselves, is grasping at straws.